Six Myths About English Majors

By Anna Sharudenko on August 19, 2019

No, we do not sit around with a glass of wine and perhaps a blunt or two and contemplate about Franz Kafka or Ralph Waldo Emerson. No, not everyone will become an English teacher who sips coffee by the gallon. Some of us will become lawyers, advertising managers, or even software developers. Derivatives of functions do not repel every single English major. Some of us dig STEM parallel to Homer, Plato, Hawthorne’s puritanism, and Emerson’s writings. Well, I guess not the puritanism part.

English majors do not follow one particular formula. We are individuals. Hence we vary and we are different, yet what unites us in this specific field of academia is the simple reason of loving literature.

1. English majors are bad at STEM fields.

We can’t stereotype in such a primitive fashion because as a counter-argument, let us take me as an example. I am in Calculus 2 as we speak and I am also an English major who will take World Lit 2 and American Lit 2 this upcoming semester. I am neither an anomaly nor an exception to the rule because some brains crave more than one-dimensional focuses. Not everyone has interests that are opposites of one another or are polymaths and guess what? That’s okay. A lot of English majors won’t end up in strictly English fields. Some of us will get into PR, non-profit work, mental health, tech, entertainment, journalism, and even medical fields.

2. English majors live and breathe to correct someone’s grammar. (y’all, this is actually true, blame air pollution)

“families wellbeing.”

“their wasn’t.”

“boy’s are playing.”

“boys cars have been stolen.”

“your cute.”

Yep, all of you just pierced through the sensitive heart of an English major and submerged deep into Dante’s nine circles of hell. You are next line after Brutus, Cassius, and Judas. Good luck getting chewed by Satan.

3. “Oh, you’ll probably end up being a teacher?” or “Oh, you want to be a teacher?”

No? A lawyer is more like in my niche in all honesty. Not every English major is predestined to become a teacher and teach teenagers another novel they most likely don’t care about. However, if you are passionate about it, that’s great. If it makes you happy, content, and satisfied, that is remarkable, and you were lucky to discover a “passion” if such a concept exists or should exist.

4. Men don’t major in English, and lit classes are filled with crazy feminists.

No? My classes are filled with guys. Also, no, we are not crazy. We are just passionate about equal rights. One assumption may be right: speaking from experience, we all have a slightly eccentric fashion style. It varies from vibrant rubber ducky socks to hippie and boho styles.

5. Writing and English are both tragic career paths.

I don’t think so, and perhaps we should all stop pointless career bashing because getting into any industry is difficult. It is certainly not a myth that getting a writing internship or a job requires strenuous effort. If we look on the bright side, it only takes one “yes” to get published in the New Yorker or New York Times. If you are a good writer and have something to say, whether it be in a reporting way or an opinion column, success will knock on your mental door eventually. You can’t, however, sit still and wait around for fate because she may ghost you in the end. Also, let us not forget about industries like law, sociology, or psychology. English majors will be well suited to pursue those fields too. Just an FYI.

6. An English major is easy.

For someone exponentially better at math, an English major will be an arduous journey. There are nine types of intelligence about which we are aware of: naturalist (nature smart), musical (sound smart), logical & mathematical (number/reasoning smart), existential (life smart), interpersonal (people smart), kinesthetic (body smart), linguistic (word smart), intrapersonal (self smart), and spatial (picture smart). We’ve got many options to excel in. We can even do it in a crisscross pattern. It depends on your natural inclinations and the potential you exhibit.

Life is all about the choices you make, and those choices contain consequences. Majoring in English is another choice you make. There is one piece of advice I want to give, however. Before declaring a major or even if you already announced it, know which industry you will want to get into after graduation or after grad school. You don’t have to know the specifics or an exact schedule of your life in two years, but you must know which direction your ship is sailing to. Whether it is nursing, PR, technology, tech law, or bankruptcies, consider your interests, talents, successes, failures, and the general time frame. When finals in higher math or an 8-page paper is due tomorrow, you will question your choices, hence why you need to be dead set on a goal. Have clarity in life and life will be more straightforward. We, people, always make life harder than it should be.

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